Galatians 6:7

Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.

This verse has been on my mind a lot lately. Last weekend the "boat docking" season officially began and we had some new recruits. One of them was a graduate of FM, like myself, and played basketball with me there and was just a year younger. I would never have considered us great friends by any stretch, but friends could work. At any rate, he got to talking and asking some questions about Young Life, and I gladly answered. He asked if I was a leader and how long I had been involved for and so on. When I told him I had done YL for most of my time in high school his response was one that has continued to haunt me, "Really? Why didn't you ever tell me you were involved?" And in his tone you could hear his disappointment and questioning of my motivations. I realized in that moment that I had missed a huge opportunity in high school with him.

I know not to dwell on the past, however, I can't get this picture out of my mind. I certainly invited people to come to club and such, but never with the reckless abandon that I should have. And now, four years later I find myself trying to lead kids in loving their friends and continue to keep feeling frustrated by it. Perhaps I'm just being pushed to look at these kids and see that I was in the same state of mind as they are. Maybe this is why God has brought me to this point, so that I might realize my own short comings and in doing so, teach and demonstrate a better way to the kids we're leading.

So, I guess this leaves me thinking that it is only through self evaluation and reflection on our own actions, while pursuing Christ, that we can alter our current walk. I think the last part is the key ingredient though. Its wholly plausible to reflect and be hard on yourself for past shortcomings, but to not include Christ in that will only lead to more guilt and frustration and no resolution to the problem. If we are truly seeking to change, we will involve Christ in that because we have no other way to change.