I saw the beginning of the Michael J. Fox special on ABC... I thought it was so interesting! My favorite part was when he went to Bhutan because it is said to be the happiest nation on earth. Besides rating GNP, they also tally up the GNH: Gross National Happiness. Now, I'm not sure how they really put that into numbers or how they record it, but I thought that was beyond cool. He felt so relaxed and happy in Bhutan that he could take less medicine for his Parkinson's Disease because his symptoms were so reduced. That was definitely the coolest part- such a simple thing as happiness can cure or at least lessen diseases! I bet that if they rated the U.S.'s GNH, it would be one of the lowest in the world. Why is that? Why do we Americans seem to be so unhappy? Is it our obsession with materialism that just leaves us empty? I think it has to do a lot with our inability to believe in anything. We're trained to be skeptics and to beware of scams (mostly because of advertising, which is sad...) but it is hard to wholeheartedly believe in anything or anyone anymore. I think that's why I myself struggle with doubt in Jesus so much. My mom is one of the most skeptical people I've ever known, and maybe that's why I'm afraid of trusting people with everything I have and everything I am. It's hard to believe that He cares about me that much, that He would die for me. It's something I accept, but not something I can really wrap my head around.

I don't know how to go about being an optimist. It's so ingrained in me to believe things are not what they appear to be or that they are not going to turn out the way I want them to. I need to accept the fact that they're not going to go my way, but His way.